I have been waiting for this essay because I knew you would say it and say it so much better than I could. Thank you so much. You hit that note perfectly.
I recently wrote a note right here on substack (that was largely ignored) stating that I am an immigrant and I am afraid. I am in the Midwest and surrounded in people of a political bent that denounce and vilify immigrants. What will happen to us when they and their guns are called out. (If the election result is not to their liking for instance).
I am afraid what happens next for my friend the chef who was born in Mexico and struggles with English who sends kitchen scraps out for my pigs who has worked here for ten years, pays taxes and rent, has two kids to an American wife and still they are holding up his citizenship. I am afraid what will happen in the next few months. I am afraid we are on the firing line. Immigrants. Do we need to make a plan?
Often I hear: oh I love your accent. (Thank you I was born with it) Where are you from? (Far far away) I bet you get asked that all the time (yep - all the damn time). Smile, Cecilia. Don’t look scary, Cecilia. Don’t make them mad. But these people believe they are being kind really, (as long as I play along and don’t bite) not caring that they just pointed out to me and the whole check-out line behind me that I don’t belong and they don’t quite understand me because I speak funny.
Anyway. I said something once - I can’t remember even what it was - and I was roundly told that if I don’t like it here to go back where I came from. “This is how we do it here”.
So - yeah - thank you for this most excellent piece of writing.
And I have blue eyes.
I actually don’t care if I don’t belong anywhere. I just don’t want to be scared. And the last few weeks down here in rural America have been scary.
I am sending you hugs. Honestly, when the guy says he will deport undocumented people, I nod my head and say you fucking fools.
How do you think he will do this?
First of all, how much do you think it costs to deport one human? Multiply this by millions.
What you gotta do is stop interfering with other countries. Fix the broken LEGAL process and give people their fucking work permits. All they want to do is WORK and pay taxes.
But apart from all of the bullshit. How will they be able to tell who is legal from illegal. I promise you the majority of his supporters don't care, and so they will bring out their guns and the military, and poor Neela will have to walk around with her naturalization documents taped to her forehead because she's brown, so you know (no other way to tell)
People don't THINK - they never do Cecilia. Two fucking choices and they choose HATE. We have lots of unhappy people in this world. The things I would like to really say. We are due for wine .... Happy Tuesday!
Having lived in 17 US States, I know there are places that even as a blonde -haired (ok well it's grey now) blue-eyed white man, my opinions on DEI, belonging, and the state of affairs, and potential for radical change would put me and my family in jeopardy. I'm sending positive vibes, good thoughts, and huge prayers for you, your family, friends, and all of us on this big blue marble, Cecilia.
Thank you so much, Chason, for such an honest comment. When I first arrived here I had NO IDEA that the family and friends I made here (central Illinois) could think this way. I just never thought to ask - not being something a person would think to ask (or was I just naive) Twenty years ago it was not such a powder keg. Or being a new immigrant I never thought to look. But nor were there so many viscous fire arms so blatantly displayed next to confederate flags painted on pallets in their front yards.
But so much here is so wonderful - we must be careful not to throw the baby out with the bath water.
This is powerful, Neela. It is a daily question I ask myself: What are you doing to remove biases, stigmas, prejudices, even deep seeded junk that you may not even realize you are carrying? I'm listening more than I speak. Unlearning, relearning, and creating space. I'm committed to stop being an #Ally and start being an #Accomplice. #DoBetter
👉being American isn’t about fitting into someone else’s definition — it’s about continuously redefining what America can be.👈
I love getting to know where people are from, Neela. I enjoy hearing the backstories, the cultures one's from, the food, culture all of it. Each of us comes from somewhere and I so happy you said this, '... that everyone on the Mayflower was, by definition, an immigrant.' Anyone that truly knows history would know this.
On numerous applications, I have crossed out 'white' because I don't identify as that. I identify as brown...Middle-Eastern. I am proud of my origin roots and of being American too.
What I won't do is ever change who I am to fit in with others.
Best gift to give ourselves is love who we are! Embrace it! :)
Love your share Neela; thank you for writing on an important topic of individuality and identity! I also find this a fascinating topic, as someone who is more akin to 'Rahul' in your article.
I have a 'yes, and' thought here: The thing that piques my interest the most is whether or not the notion: “Is America ready to expand its definition of American-ness?” could be expanded globally. Is Oman ready to expand its definition of Oman-ness? Is Japan ready to expand its definition of Japan-ness? And I pick on these two countries because Oman is remarkably homogenous (and has one of the lowest crime rates in the world) and Japan because it has a reputation of being racially insular; that you can have lived there your entire life but if you don't look Japanese, you will forever be 'gaijin' (same for China).
On the one hand, it speaks to the dominant identity of a nation but on the other, it speaks to the seesaw of assimilation vs diversity. One thought - carrying on from your article - is I wonder what the discourse looks like if we were to focus purely on what is the 'American concept'? Or the Australian / Japanese / Omani concept etc?
I LOVE this response. Your question about whether the concept of expanding national identity could apply globally is an interesting one. Furthermore, your suggestion to focus on the core "concept" of national identity is compelling. It could potentially cut through some of the more surface-level debates. I wonder what an exploration of the "American concept" or "Japanese concept" might reveal. How much common ground exists across different perspectives on national identity? So many questions lol
But I truly believe we should be asking better questions.
“ Because here’s the thing — America has always been in a state of becoming. This nation has been an experiment, a work in progress since its inception. The America of today would be unrecognizable to its founders and thank goodness for that.”
Another wonderful article, Neela. Thank you for sharing your perspective as an American.
I think your article hits on a major problem we have in this country: We are far too willing to put people into identity buckets. Based on stereotypes, race, ethic background, etc. I am from Alabama, and to a certain swath of this country, that means I have to be a racist redneck who is married to my cousin. Just the way it is.
But I honestly believe the majority of Americans don’t see skin color or make judgements on it, unless prompted to do so by an outside source, like the media. Anyone that comes to this country legally as you did, in my mind they are an American. No hyphen needed, I don’t even see the need to mention them being an immigrant. Their current status is American, that’s all that’s needed, and that makes them a part of this country and equal with all other Americans. Who don’t need any further hyphens or identifiers either, IMO.
Our language, attitudes and thinking does need to be far more inclusive in this regard, as you have shown us. I think we need to move away from our identity buckets and focus on the one we all share: we are all Americans. We are all in the same club, glad you are here, sister :)
But understand my immigration journey took 14 years. Even though I came here legally, I kept paying into a broken system. 14 years of family memories were just gone. Yes, it was my choice and I came here purely for economic reason but most people don't have 14 years. For most people, it is life and death. I mentor a group of teens every Sunday. (trafficked and abused). They come from different countries, and they are undergoing the asylum process, which is another abusive system all on its own. I am very passionate about these topics because while I acknowledge more needs to be done about illegal immigration, we are still not understanding we are propping up a system that supports it—drugs, guns - human trafficking - made in America. Haiti and Haitians have been on the news. Those people have been granted temporary protective status - why - gang warfare in their country - But where are they getting military-style guns from Neela? From the United States of America. Long conversations bro - we need to have long, honest conversations. I appreciate you stopping by!
I assume you have a degree or are studying it and have gotten a job. I would not want to migrate, I am trying to earn a minimum wage here because there is no work in my country. I am a potential migrant but I know that if I took the road, without a degree I would be able to do very little.
I migrated 21 years ago but yes I did migrate with a degree in Business Administration. It was never a game changer though. Meaning my employers valued my experience more.
It's extremely competitive now so it may be a factor now more than before. Best of luck to you.
Neela, thank you for this thought-provoking post. It causes me to pause and reflect on where I grew up -- in the heart of a the deep South -- a place I've returned recently. When I left many years ago, the small town I called home was largely populated by whites and blacks. Now, the strip mall where my mom used to have her tax and accounting business is a Chinese restaurant, Mexican restaurant, and Vietnamese nail salon. Across the street is a gas station owned by a man from Yemen.
I know that sounds very stereotypical and is a scene repeated in many small towns across America. But, for me, it was a wake-up call that this country has changed, and it is time those of us born and bred here change with it. Your post is also a wake-up call and a breath-fresh reminder that America once was and should always be a place where "masses yearning to breathe free" are welcome. After all, the forebears of everyone here (with the exception of the first Americans, the Indians) were once immigrants.
Not stereotypical at all. It's the best way to describe it.
I do think there needs to be some change from an immigrant perspective. I remember when newly migrated, I would say good morning on the trains daily. Initially, I got no answers because New Yorkers are dead inside lol, but it was a habit I brought from the island. My husband who travels a lot to those smaller cities in the South tells me they are extremely responsive to manners and so there is common ground somewhere and we just need to find a way to live. Thank you for taking the time :) I hope you are having a good week. Happy Wednesday!
You need to come visit. Mack’s in Alabama and I’m in Mississippi. We’ll treat you to some of the best most unhealthy food you’ve ever eaten. 😀 But the hospitality will make up for it! You’ll come back with many stories to tell.
As a fan of Canadian football, the epitome of an American is a former NCAA player not quite good enough to get into the NFL but willing to learn the 3-down game. Most of these players are black, not white.
That's an interesting analogy! Immigrants often bring a wealth of talent and experience but face different rules and challenges along the way. Some people don't understand, and it is not because we don't adapt. We lose ourselves in adapting. The question is why is it not enough?
Bro I wish - because I can help her fix a few things - she is still holding back a lot and it is affecting her likeability. Happy Tuesday Hans..........
Thanks for this fine essay Neela! 👏 The USA is caught between its ideal (Liberty/justice for all) and its foundational reality (wealthy white males who didn't like paying taxes to the King). It's mostly people who come here from other countries who can see/feel that tension which is often invisible to the "natives".
I have been waiting for this essay because I knew you would say it and say it so much better than I could. Thank you so much. You hit that note perfectly.
I recently wrote a note right here on substack (that was largely ignored) stating that I am an immigrant and I am afraid. I am in the Midwest and surrounded in people of a political bent that denounce and vilify immigrants. What will happen to us when they and their guns are called out. (If the election result is not to their liking for instance).
I am afraid what happens next for my friend the chef who was born in Mexico and struggles with English who sends kitchen scraps out for my pigs who has worked here for ten years, pays taxes and rent, has two kids to an American wife and still they are holding up his citizenship. I am afraid what will happen in the next few months. I am afraid we are on the firing line. Immigrants. Do we need to make a plan?
Often I hear: oh I love your accent. (Thank you I was born with it) Where are you from? (Far far away) I bet you get asked that all the time (yep - all the damn time). Smile, Cecilia. Don’t look scary, Cecilia. Don’t make them mad. But these people believe they are being kind really, (as long as I play along and don’t bite) not caring that they just pointed out to me and the whole check-out line behind me that I don’t belong and they don’t quite understand me because I speak funny.
Anyway. I said something once - I can’t remember even what it was - and I was roundly told that if I don’t like it here to go back where I came from. “This is how we do it here”.
So - yeah - thank you for this most excellent piece of writing.
And I have blue eyes.
I actually don’t care if I don’t belong anywhere. I just don’t want to be scared. And the last few weeks down here in rural America have been scary.
Hey Cecilia
I am sending you hugs. Honestly, when the guy says he will deport undocumented people, I nod my head and say you fucking fools.
How do you think he will do this?
First of all, how much do you think it costs to deport one human? Multiply this by millions.
What you gotta do is stop interfering with other countries. Fix the broken LEGAL process and give people their fucking work permits. All they want to do is WORK and pay taxes.
But apart from all of the bullshit. How will they be able to tell who is legal from illegal. I promise you the majority of his supporters don't care, and so they will bring out their guns and the military, and poor Neela will have to walk around with her naturalization documents taped to her forehead because she's brown, so you know (no other way to tell)
People don't THINK - they never do Cecilia. Two fucking choices and they choose HATE. We have lots of unhappy people in this world. The things I would like to really say. We are due for wine .... Happy Tuesday!
Having lived in 17 US States, I know there are places that even as a blonde -haired (ok well it's grey now) blue-eyed white man, my opinions on DEI, belonging, and the state of affairs, and potential for radical change would put me and my family in jeopardy. I'm sending positive vibes, good thoughts, and huge prayers for you, your family, friends, and all of us on this big blue marble, Cecilia.
I unfortunately hear this a lot Chason. Your family is important. In this climate, take no chances friend.
Thank you so much, Chason, for such an honest comment. When I first arrived here I had NO IDEA that the family and friends I made here (central Illinois) could think this way. I just never thought to ask - not being something a person would think to ask (or was I just naive) Twenty years ago it was not such a powder keg. Or being a new immigrant I never thought to look. But nor were there so many viscous fire arms so blatantly displayed next to confederate flags painted on pallets in their front yards.
But so much here is so wonderful - we must be careful not to throw the baby out with the bath water.
Thank you again.
🙏
This is powerful, Neela. It is a daily question I ask myself: What are you doing to remove biases, stigmas, prejudices, even deep seeded junk that you may not even realize you are carrying? I'm listening more than I speak. Unlearning, relearning, and creating space. I'm committed to stop being an #Ally and start being an #Accomplice. #DoBetter
👉being American isn’t about fitting into someone else’s definition — it’s about continuously redefining what America can be.👈
You do so much to support everyone, and I love you for that. You will ALWAYS have my support Chason. ALWAYS.
Thank you for taking the time.
Happy Tuesday!
I love getting to know where people are from, Neela. I enjoy hearing the backstories, the cultures one's from, the food, culture all of it. Each of us comes from somewhere and I so happy you said this, '... that everyone on the Mayflower was, by definition, an immigrant.' Anyone that truly knows history would know this.
On numerous applications, I have crossed out 'white' because I don't identify as that. I identify as brown...Middle-Eastern. I am proud of my origin roots and of being American too.
What I won't do is ever change who I am to fit in with others.
Best gift to give ourselves is love who we are! Embrace it! :)
I used to skip those identifying questions sis because I'm West Indian. There is nothing remotely close to describe me 😂
While I love getting to know people I often leave it up to them to voluntarily share but most conversations always begins with food 🤣
I hope you have a wonderful evening ✨
Love your share Neela; thank you for writing on an important topic of individuality and identity! I also find this a fascinating topic, as someone who is more akin to 'Rahul' in your article.
I have a 'yes, and' thought here: The thing that piques my interest the most is whether or not the notion: “Is America ready to expand its definition of American-ness?” could be expanded globally. Is Oman ready to expand its definition of Oman-ness? Is Japan ready to expand its definition of Japan-ness? And I pick on these two countries because Oman is remarkably homogenous (and has one of the lowest crime rates in the world) and Japan because it has a reputation of being racially insular; that you can have lived there your entire life but if you don't look Japanese, you will forever be 'gaijin' (same for China).
On the one hand, it speaks to the dominant identity of a nation but on the other, it speaks to the seesaw of assimilation vs diversity. One thought - carrying on from your article - is I wonder what the discourse looks like if we were to focus purely on what is the 'American concept'? Or the Australian / Japanese / Omani concept etc?
Hey Scott
I LOVE this response. Your question about whether the concept of expanding national identity could apply globally is an interesting one. Furthermore, your suggestion to focus on the core "concept" of national identity is compelling. It could potentially cut through some of the more surface-level debates. I wonder what an exploration of the "American concept" or "Japanese concept" might reveal. How much common ground exists across different perspectives on national identity? So many questions lol
But I truly believe we should be asking better questions.
Thank you so much for taking the time :)
“ Because here’s the thing — America has always been in a state of becoming. This nation has been an experiment, a work in progress since its inception. The America of today would be unrecognizable to its founders and thank goodness for that.”
Another wonderful article, Neela. Thank you for sharing your perspective as an American.
I think your article hits on a major problem we have in this country: We are far too willing to put people into identity buckets. Based on stereotypes, race, ethic background, etc. I am from Alabama, and to a certain swath of this country, that means I have to be a racist redneck who is married to my cousin. Just the way it is.
But I honestly believe the majority of Americans don’t see skin color or make judgements on it, unless prompted to do so by an outside source, like the media. Anyone that comes to this country legally as you did, in my mind they are an American. No hyphen needed, I don’t even see the need to mention them being an immigrant. Their current status is American, that’s all that’s needed, and that makes them a part of this country and equal with all other Americans. Who don’t need any further hyphens or identifiers either, IMO.
Our language, attitudes and thinking does need to be far more inclusive in this regard, as you have shown us. I think we need to move away from our identity buckets and focus on the one we all share: we are all Americans. We are all in the same club, glad you are here, sister :)
Thank you so much bro.
But understand my immigration journey took 14 years. Even though I came here legally, I kept paying into a broken system. 14 years of family memories were just gone. Yes, it was my choice and I came here purely for economic reason but most people don't have 14 years. For most people, it is life and death. I mentor a group of teens every Sunday. (trafficked and abused). They come from different countries, and they are undergoing the asylum process, which is another abusive system all on its own. I am very passionate about these topics because while I acknowledge more needs to be done about illegal immigration, we are still not understanding we are propping up a system that supports it—drugs, guns - human trafficking - made in America. Haiti and Haitians have been on the news. Those people have been granted temporary protective status - why - gang warfare in their country - But where are they getting military-style guns from Neela? From the United States of America. Long conversations bro - we need to have long, honest conversations. I appreciate you stopping by!
All this!
I assume you have a degree or are studying it and have gotten a job. I would not want to migrate, I am trying to earn a minimum wage here because there is no work in my country. I am a potential migrant but I know that if I took the road, without a degree I would be able to do very little.
Hey Norsan
I migrated 21 years ago but yes I did migrate with a degree in Business Administration. It was never a game changer though. Meaning my employers valued my experience more.
It's extremely competitive now so it may be a factor now more than before. Best of luck to you.
Neela, thank you for this thought-provoking post. It causes me to pause and reflect on where I grew up -- in the heart of a the deep South -- a place I've returned recently. When I left many years ago, the small town I called home was largely populated by whites and blacks. Now, the strip mall where my mom used to have her tax and accounting business is a Chinese restaurant, Mexican restaurant, and Vietnamese nail salon. Across the street is a gas station owned by a man from Yemen.
I know that sounds very stereotypical and is a scene repeated in many small towns across America. But, for me, it was a wake-up call that this country has changed, and it is time those of us born and bred here change with it. Your post is also a wake-up call and a breath-fresh reminder that America once was and should always be a place where "masses yearning to breathe free" are welcome. After all, the forebears of everyone here (with the exception of the first Americans, the Indians) were once immigrants.
Not stereotypical at all. It's the best way to describe it.
I do think there needs to be some change from an immigrant perspective. I remember when newly migrated, I would say good morning on the trains daily. Initially, I got no answers because New Yorkers are dead inside lol, but it was a habit I brought from the island. My husband who travels a lot to those smaller cities in the South tells me they are extremely responsive to manners and so there is common ground somewhere and we just need to find a way to live. Thank you for taking the time :) I hope you are having a good week. Happy Wednesday!
You need to come visit. Mack’s in Alabama and I’m in Mississippi. We’ll treat you to some of the best most unhealthy food you’ve ever eaten. 😀 But the hospitality will make up for it! You’ll come back with many stories to tell.
👏👏👏.
Discovering the complex layers of human identity becomes very challenging when one migrates to a foreign land.
Enjoy Neela 🤗
You know about this stuff very well Salima. Happy Wednesday in advance Enjoy the rest of your week 😄
As a fan of Canadian football, the epitome of an American is a former NCAA player not quite good enough to get into the NFL but willing to learn the 3-down game. Most of these players are black, not white.
That's an interesting analogy! Immigrants often bring a wealth of talent and experience but face different rules and challenges along the way. Some people don't understand, and it is not because we don't adapt. We lose ourselves in adapting. The question is why is it not enough?
Thank you for taking the time Raphael.
When my wife read this, her comment was "Kamala should get her on her staff."
Bro I wish - because I can help her fix a few things - she is still holding back a lot and it is affecting her likeability. Happy Tuesday Hans..........
Thanks for sharing this here, Neela. So important with all the Springfield OH developments. Grateful for you!
I am drafting a few articles on immigration for the stupid among us lol
Thank you for all the support.
I clicked on this email so fast... Off to enjoy!!
I knew you would like this. It went viral on Medium 5 weeks ago, and I got zero hate.
There were lots of questions, but no trolls.
We can have difficult conversations Nadine.
Happy Tuesday and thank you so much for restacking.
No hate at all means it was perfectly written and balanced. Well done Neela!
Thanks for this fine essay Neela! 👏 The USA is caught between its ideal (Liberty/justice for all) and its foundational reality (wealthy white males who didn't like paying taxes to the King). It's mostly people who come here from other countries who can see/feel that tension which is often invisible to the "natives".
Hey Baird - Happy Tuesday!
I don't expect them ever to understand how we feel.
I want them to ask better questions.
- How do you plan on deporting millions of illegals?
- Why do we have a border crisis in the first place?
- Why did we grant protective status to Haitian immigrants?
- And no, you cannot vote unless you are an American citizen.
TPS is not citizenship.
You know - better questions, lmao.
I appreciate you Baird.
It often seems we are only a local in the place we were born, everywhere else, even in the same country we are non-native.
Have a great week Neela
Enjoy your week as well David...
Hah. Then I belong nowhere because I am an outcast in Trinidad 🤣
Before I migrated.
Definitely after I migrated.
True story David ...
I don't know Neela, home is wherever we find people who care about us, I suspect that means you could call home in many places of this world
You are right.
Home with where my hubby is.
Home is where David and Helen live too 😉