O my goodness, this is so profoundly wonderful, Neela! I love how expansive your responses to "What do you do?" have become! There is so much of "being" and "doing" and "becoming" that are interwoven into the thoughtful way you integrate your journey and interaction with the Davids in your life. Visibility is a hugely important piece, isn't it?
My goodness, I was not even a third of the way through this article when I tried to commit specific phrases you used to memory. I resonated with your story on many levels. For too long, I sought external validation, and still occasionally do, until I caught myself and remembered that it led me nowhere fast. Your writing is exceptional!
Wow this is great. I'm on board with this these days. It's some impressive story. Yeah. We don't matter in the long run even if we matter so we might as well matter to ourselves.
This is a Neela original right? A TMed blog, not a guest post? ;)
I was glad to read this, one of my managers once told me the best advice every: "Nadine, you need to care less." And lowering my own expectations of "mattering" is another way to put that.
We can still go after education, degrees, and achievement, bettering ourselves, but we don't need to aspire to take over the world every day. Maybe just some days.
Your name is more beautiful than I realized! I love it, actually. Poetry Blue has a nice ring to it 😊 This was a great one, Neela. I used to define myself by my career, too. And then I became a parent and quickly realized how unimportant and uncool I am in the grand scheme of things
Poetry Blue does have a nice ring to it - might have to trademark that. 😆 And YES, parenthood is the ultimate humbler according to my sister too. Appreciate you sharing this!
Great article. Took me longer than you. It started by focusing on be-ing not do-ing. Then doing what I want. Only that. I realized when my wife and i had an extra recovery day at an airport hotel how happy and in tune with the few real wants I have. Glad you found it earlier in your life
That was sage advice by your fellow coffee spiker David Sis! Geez.. I can relate so much to what you've said here (BTW..please don't be an early adopter with Mars travel, just sayin.....)... When I was on the cusp of turning 30 I panicked because my 20's had evaporated chasing laying the foundations of becoming a CEO; it ultimately paid off BUT at what price, I genuinely don't recall much in the way of genuine joy of my 20's! Life comes really should come first..! Thought provoking as per usual Sis - love it!
Oh, the first half of my 20s were dark years. Then I migrated, but it was also a journey of unlearning. Ever had brandy and coffee? That was the spiked mix lol
I told someone a few weeks ago - "Congrats on the title! Now, about those lost sunsets, friendships, and dumb joy…’
They did not get it yet. They will eventually.
PS Mars can wait. Elon still hasn’t sorted legroom on those rockets.
Hey Sis... my week has been a good one so far thanks, yours? I'm not a fan of brandy and haven't tried that combo.. I'm weary! lol Oh yes, they'll get it...no aroma of roses (that really do smell like..um... you know)....either. With the rate of explosion of Ol mate's rockets I think legroom is the least of your worries! lol
Ha ha... I think Ol mate should look up the definition of reciprocal because he's slapped a 10% tariff on Australia and we don't have any tariffs on US goods! Mind blowing ridiculous! HUUUUUUGE sigh! lol
Yes, yes, and also yes! And good for you for discovering that happiness is precious but attainable while you were still young enough to enjoy it. Some learn it too late, and some never learn it at all. If more were as smart as you, this world would be a better place.
I'm beginning to realize how lucky I was that my upbringing taught me that lesson from the beginning. More importantly — because that lesson is everywhere in our parables and normative stories — that I actually took it to heart. The end result has indeed been a mostly happy life with few regrets.
Learning stillness — however one finds it — is a true gift in this rat-race world!
Anyone else here think Neela would be a joy to hang out with: the smarts, depth, sharp sense of humor and philosophical twists on culture and living? This was both a laugh a minute and deep. So true, if we're not careful, it can turn into performance "art." Great lesson.
A beautiful piece - it isn't easy to step back from conforming to the notion that achievement relates to work, and seemingly ignores everything else in our lives. Good luck with the curry recipe!
Wow. I wish I'd known a David like that. Another brilliant piece of writing, Neela. Your working life fascinates me, and oh, how far you've come in changing your perspectives from those 3 am wake-up 'calls'. You are a warrior woman!
Legacy’s become a buzz word. Maybe you know the legacy movement preaching on leadership trainings. “Create your legacy” as a motivator to get up in the morning.
This is wonderful Neela! And so, so true. As a chronic over planner who is actively trying to live in the moment more and be more present without thinking of what more is next, this article really resonated with me.
My friend Paul Chaney used Suno to turn this article into a song.
https://suno.com/song/5894fe08-6b91-4b67-bb1c-bf2e0b62b865?sh=URptAalWV9JjfRT1
Neat right?
Maybe one day I will sing on a video and post as a note on Substack.
Then hell with freeze over 😂😂😂😂
Life is measured by hand
Not in leaps but grains of sand
The changes we can barely see
Build the people we come to be
Love this, David.
So true.
Also, now I’m imagining an hourglass where every grain is a tiny victory.
O my goodness, this is so profoundly wonderful, Neela! I love how expansive your responses to "What do you do?" have become! There is so much of "being" and "doing" and "becoming" that are interwoven into the thoughtful way you integrate your journey and interaction with the Davids in your life. Visibility is a hugely important piece, isn't it?
Happy Tuesday Hans
I've learned that being seen often starts with seeing ourselves clearly first.
And once we do this, we're off to the races.
Thank you, as always, for your support.
My goodness, I was not even a third of the way through this article when I tried to commit specific phrases you used to memory. I resonated with your story on many levels. For too long, I sought external validation, and still occasionally do, until I caught myself and remembered that it led me nowhere fast. Your writing is exceptional!
Happy Tuesday trini
I saw photos from Chason's fundraiser.
You all looked amazing.
Also, ‘nowhere fast’ is such a perfect way to put it.
Like running on a treadmill of approval, been there, still trip over it sometimes.
Thank you for the best feedback, trini
Enjoy your evening.
Wow this is great. I'm on board with this these days. It's some impressive story. Yeah. We don't matter in the long run even if we matter so we might as well matter to ourselves.
The cosmic insignificance that somehow makes our personal significance more precious, not less.
Thank you for taking the time, Andrew
Much appreciated.
This is a Neela original right? A TMed blog, not a guest post? ;)
I was glad to read this, one of my managers once told me the best advice every: "Nadine, you need to care less." And lowering my own expectations of "mattering" is another way to put that.
We can still go after education, degrees, and achievement, bettering ourselves, but we don't need to aspire to take over the world every day. Maybe just some days.
Yep, straight from the Neela brain factory - 100% original
Your manager was onto something.
Caring less (strategically) is a game-changer.
Some days, world domination. On other days, just making it to bedtime without feeling nauseous dread. Balance
I appreciate you, Nadine.
Right back at you Neela 🫂
Your name is more beautiful than I realized! I love it, actually. Poetry Blue has a nice ring to it 😊 This was a great one, Neela. I used to define myself by my career, too. And then I became a parent and quickly realized how unimportant and uncool I am in the grand scheme of things
Happy Thursday Shlee
You just made my evening!
Poetry Blue does have a nice ring to it - might have to trademark that. 😆 And YES, parenthood is the ultimate humbler according to my sister too. Appreciate you sharing this!
Great article. Took me longer than you. It started by focusing on be-ing not do-ing. Then doing what I want. Only that. I realized when my wife and i had an extra recovery day at an airport hotel how happy and in tune with the few real wants I have. Glad you found it earlier in your life
Airport hotels are where clarity and tiny shampoo bottles collide. Your ‘do only what you want’ manifesto is the cheat code we all need, David.
I am so happy I did too.
Thank you so much.
That was sage advice by your fellow coffee spiker David Sis! Geez.. I can relate so much to what you've said here (BTW..please don't be an early adopter with Mars travel, just sayin.....)... When I was on the cusp of turning 30 I panicked because my 20's had evaporated chasing laying the foundations of becoming a CEO; it ultimately paid off BUT at what price, I genuinely don't recall much in the way of genuine joy of my 20's! Life comes really should come first..! Thought provoking as per usual Sis - love it!
Hey bro
How is your week going?
Oh, the first half of my 20s were dark years. Then I migrated, but it was also a journey of unlearning. Ever had brandy and coffee? That was the spiked mix lol
I told someone a few weeks ago - "Congrats on the title! Now, about those lost sunsets, friendships, and dumb joy…’
They did not get it yet. They will eventually.
PS Mars can wait. Elon still hasn’t sorted legroom on those rockets.
thank you bro
Hey Sis... my week has been a good one so far thanks, yours? I'm not a fan of brandy and haven't tried that combo.. I'm weary! lol Oh yes, they'll get it...no aroma of roses (that really do smell like..um... you know)....either. With the rate of explosion of Ol mate's rockets I think legroom is the least of your worries! lol
Oh no because now we have reciprocal tariffs lol
Big Big sigh
Happy Friday bro.
Ha ha... I think Ol mate should look up the definition of reciprocal because he's slapped a 10% tariff on Australia and we don't have any tariffs on US goods! Mind blowing ridiculous! HUUUUUUGE sigh! lol
Happy Friday eve to you Sis! :)
Bro, he published a graphic that had false info, and everyone believed it.
Trinidad also does not have tariffs on America, and we got hit 10%
Thank you so much.
It's truly sickening Sis!
You're always welcome!
Yes, yes, and also yes! And good for you for discovering that happiness is precious but attainable while you were still young enough to enjoy it. Some learn it too late, and some never learn it at all. If more were as smart as you, this world would be a better place.
I'm beginning to realize how lucky I was that my upbringing taught me that lesson from the beginning. More importantly — because that lesson is everywhere in our parables and normative stories — that I actually took it to heart. The end result has indeed been a mostly happy life with few regrets.
Learning stillness — however one finds it — is a true gift in this rat-race world!
It took me long enough to figure my shit out. I had some decent mentors along the way. Solo success (however we define this) is a myth.
This is my quiet rebellion against a world that confuses motion with meaning.
Thank you a million times over Wyrd
Better late than never!
Up the rebellion!!
Anyone else here think Neela would be a joy to hang out with: the smarts, depth, sharp sense of humor and philosophical twists on culture and living? This was both a laugh a minute and deep. So true, if we're not careful, it can turn into performance "art." Great lesson.
LOL
Plus, I come bearing gifts, Michael - food.
I hope you are doing well.
Thank you for taking the time.
Food?
Who said food! Welcome, please come in. What you got, Neela???
I can cook just about anything Michael.
My specialty is West Indian curry or stew.
Curry is delicious. I'll have to research "West Indian curry."
Hey Michael
WI curry uses turmeric, cumin, and allspice (a Caribbean twist).
Also, we use green seasoning (herbs like cilantro, thyme, Scotch bonnet peppers) which adds to the freshness and heat.
For East Indian spices are often toasted and ground fresh (coriander, cumin, cardamom, cloves).
Hope this helps…
I'm familiar with all those ingredients as I love that cuisine and its flavors. Thank you for the details. :) I was curious.
A beautiful piece - it isn't easy to step back from conforming to the notion that achievement relates to work, and seemingly ignores everything else in our lives. Good luck with the curry recipe!
Achievement tastes better with turmeric and perspective. Thanks for the kind words, Tina! 🙌
Enjoy your week ahead.
Wow. I wish I'd known a David like that. Another brilliant piece of writing, Neela. Your working life fascinates me, and oh, how far you've come in changing your perspectives from those 3 am wake-up 'calls'. You are a warrior woman!
Thank you very much Marcia
As I interact with different people, my perspectives keep evolving.
I miss David - he passed due to complications from Covid during the pandemic :(
PS - It takes one to know one…🤗
Oh, Neela. That’s hearbreaking about David 💔 I’m so sorry.
Sorry for the delayed reaction. I’m sleepwalking here 😂 I thought I responded! I’ve missed a bunch of comments. 🤦♀️
You are totally fine 😂
this stuff is difficult.
The whole platform - comments - writing - it’s hard so I ALWAYS get it my friend.
🙌🤍🤍
Thought provoking and nicely written. Good job.
Hey Paul
Thank you so much
I think creating a legacy and living in the moment don’t exclude each other.
Although, balancing both is like herding sheep.
It can be quite fulfilling to create something that stays, something like your powerful piece.
Thank you!
Hey Chris
Happy Thursday
Ha—I’ll leave the sheep-herding to others!
My logic and this is mine alone. I am not speaking for others - stays for whom?
I appreciate you adding to the conversation here.
Got it. Did not criticize your work. What you wrote can’t be wrong.
Different person different perspective.
Thanks for making me think.
Gosh no
No criticism taken at all Chris.
I just don't see leaving a legacy the same way as other people and thats cool.
You have context I don't see.
Maybe this is an article for the future ☺️
Perfect!
Legacy’s become a buzz word. Maybe you know the legacy movement preaching on leadership trainings. “Create your legacy” as a motivator to get up in the morning.
So you’re right. Legacy needs context.
ah yes - it's on LinkedIn everywhere lol
And you are right, it is a buzzword.
Thank you for the conversation Chris
Thank you too Neela! Read you soon!
This is wonderful Neela! And so, so true. As a chronic over planner who is actively trying to live in the moment more and be more present without thinking of what more is next, this article really resonated with me.
Ah, a fellow over-planner learning to loosen the grip.
I see you! 😄
The fact that you’re even trying speaks volumes. Progress over perfection, right?
Wishing you a week full of tiny, unplanned joys.
Thank you so much for taking the time Kim :)
Thanks Neela! You too
The thing about advice you don't want to hear is that it has this annoying habit of echoing in your head at 3 AM when you're staring at the ceiling.
Ain't that the truth.
Crazy how we're living but we aren't living until...
Great read Neela!
Mike
Happy Monday evening
How are you?
It's been a minute.
Living is mandatory in 2025.
It’s been awhile, I’ve been well thanks how are you!? I’ve been laser focused on my email list so I haven’t been on here as often.
I’ll be spittin out an article at least once a week from now instead of daily, those are for my email list.
No worries. Taking breaks and pauses is part of growth. The good kind.
I will look out for them. I saw one in my inbox. Will give it a read tonight.
Glad you are doing well, Mike. Chat soon