Oh wow, I’m so sorry things became that dark for you, Neela. I’m glad they found you because the world would be a much darker place without you in it. I bet your mom’s so proud, looking down as you continue to play the game. And I bet her smile finally reaches her eyes 💜
I loved reading this story and your evocative prose, and hearing the borrowed light in your own voice. Powerful, and the ending breathes me forward - And sometimes, in the silence between breaths, I swear I can still smell curry, can still hear Mom’s voice saying, “Child, you were always worth more than any fucking jackpot.”
This is better than any adjective like authentic or relatable. It just feels true.
This reminded me of my family's cruel story I can't speak about till today (at least I was able to turn it to a fucken book). I don't know why if it's not 'family' giving us the worst and best memory, it's 'love'...
You're perceiving that curry even at midnight and it's insane, I'm perceiving the roasted rabbit stew from 15 years ago and it's painful.
Oh Neela, I enjoy your personal accounts the most. The way you weave metaphors like spices that make your memories and their accounts full of flavour. Some pungent , some acerbic. But always cohesive. The way you share your life experiences without telling it all just pregnant enough to wait in anticipation. You know people with the toughest childhood make the bravest people. No wonder I connect so much with you! Takes one to know one Neela🤗✨. Love and light always because we have already had enough of darkness for a lifetime!
Neela I think this is your most heartfelt, and best work so far. And you know how high that bar already was for you. Just stunning, thank you for sharing with us, it was an honor to read this.
Neela, thank you for sharing these memories with us. And I'm so grateful you were found! The world would've been a darker place without you, without your energy, without your words. A family member recently tried to take their life--they are alive and learning to live again--so your words touched especially close. Your posts always resonate with me, but this one has given me new insight into how to communicate with someone struggling to see their worth. Thank you.
I appreciate you sharing that, my friend, about your family member and how this impacted you. I’m relieved they’re still here. And I hope they know there’s no deadline on learning to live again.
When I made my attempt, it wasn’t drama.
It was pure math. I genuinely thought I was a liability. Not sad, not broken, just... inconvenient. A burden, really. So if there's anything I’ve learned since is this -people need to know how they matter. Say it plainly - say it again and again.
Oh, Neela, you rang my heart-bell there, but clearly someone strong and beautiful rose from the ashes. A wonderful, touching, and memorable story. Have a happy day!
Oh, my. Neela. What a beautiful, haunting story. You make magic with your words, and the sound of your voice at the end, what a perfect bonus! Heartbreaking, poignant and brilliantly raw. I love this story. I'm so glad someone always finds you in Trinidad 🙌🤍 You're amazing!!
Yes but your beautiful writing made it accessible. Plus I am a person who has firm beliefs about never turning away from reality. This essay was publishable for money great
Oh wow, I’m so sorry things became that dark for you, Neela. I’m glad they found you because the world would be a much darker place without you in it. I bet your mom’s so proud, looking down as you continue to play the game. And I bet her smile finally reaches her eyes 💜
I felt every word, Shlee. Thank you. I’ll carry that image of her smiling with me today.
I am SO happy to be here :)
Thank you for taking the time.
Enjoy your evening.
I loved reading this story and your evocative prose, and hearing the borrowed light in your own voice. Powerful, and the ending breathes me forward - And sometimes, in the silence between breaths, I swear I can still smell curry, can still hear Mom’s voice saying, “Child, you were always worth more than any fucking jackpot.”
This is better than any adjective like authentic or relatable. It just feels true.
Really grateful for this, Hans.
I struggle with how much to say and how much to leave hanging, and your comment makes me feel like I struck the balance I was hoping for.
Thank you for taking the time to read again, bro.
You know I appreciate you :)
You made me almost cry Neela.
This reminded me of my family's cruel story I can't speak about till today (at least I was able to turn it to a fucken book). I don't know why if it's not 'family' giving us the worst and best memory, it's 'love'...
You're perceiving that curry even at midnight and it's insane, I'm perceiving the roasted rabbit stew from 15 years ago and it's painful.
Family and love are two forces that can lift you or burn you down. I’m so glad you had the strength to turn pain into pages.
Can you send me the link to get your book if you can?
I tried stalking your profile.
Happy Friday....
Took 10 years to do that and I'm publishing in a week from now. Been working on the final logistics of it.
You'll be the first il swn da link to.
I love you.
OMG I am so excited for you sista Ral
I am looking forward to reading it.
I love you more.
Have the best weekend and thank you for everything this week :)
Oh Neela, I enjoy your personal accounts the most. The way you weave metaphors like spices that make your memories and their accounts full of flavour. Some pungent , some acerbic. But always cohesive. The way you share your life experiences without telling it all just pregnant enough to wait in anticipation. You know people with the toughest childhood make the bravest people. No wonder I connect so much with you! Takes one to know one Neela🤗✨. Love and light always because we have already had enough of darkness for a lifetime!
I don’t think I could ask for a more heartfelt comment than this, Urmila.
Thank you for noticing the layers.
And you’re right, we’ve earned our light through the darkness. I’m so glad our paths crossed in this space. 💛💛💛💛
The pain is almost unbearable, but it's the love that shines through it all that endures. Even if the light never quite reached your mum's eyes.
Grateful for your thoughtful words, Lisa.
I wish you a marvelous May ahead.
Thank you for taking the time :)
Neela I think this is your most heartfelt, and best work so far. And you know how high that bar already was for you. Just stunning, thank you for sharing with us, it was an honor to read this.
That means a lot coming from you, bro. Thank you.
I wasn’t sure if I should hit publish on this one here, but I’m glad I did.
Thank you for nudging me to publish the rest of my memoirs :)
Sometimes all we need is a little encouragement :)
Personally, selfishly, I am glad you are here. 🌱
Honestly ……….I am so happy to be here too.
Thank you so much Baird
It’s sunny today in OC.
Neela, thank you for sharing these memories with us. And I'm so grateful you were found! The world would've been a darker place without you, without your energy, without your words. A family member recently tried to take their life--they are alive and learning to live again--so your words touched especially close. Your posts always resonate with me, but this one has given me new insight into how to communicate with someone struggling to see their worth. Thank you.
I appreciate you sharing that, my friend, about your family member and how this impacted you. I’m relieved they’re still here. And I hope they know there’s no deadline on learning to live again.
When I made my attempt, it wasn’t drama.
It was pure math. I genuinely thought I was a liability. Not sad, not broken, just... inconvenient. A burden, really. So if there's anything I’ve learned since is this -people need to know how they matter. Say it plainly - say it again and again.
Thank you so much for stopping by.
Oh, Neela, you rang my heart-bell there, but clearly someone strong and beautiful rose from the ashes. A wonderful, touching, and memorable story. Have a happy day!
Happy Thursday Wyrd
I first published this on Medium.
I have published similar pieces, not as depressing hahahahaha
I wanted to test this article to see how it will perform here, and by perform, I mean responses, whether here or via DMs and emails.
Thank you always for your kind words.
I cannot believe it's May already. jeez.
I wish you a fantastic day ahead.
Time flies like an arrow (fruit flies like a banana).
This was beautifully written, Neela. Thank you so much for sharing something so personal. You carry one hell of a light, my friend!
Oooh Steve - Thank you so much for reading and for restacking. It means a whole lot :)
I hope you are doing well.
I know that feeling, utter desolation. Sending love Neela. 💕💕
Hi Rea
Thank you so so much for reading.
I wish you the best week ahead :)
Oh, my. Neela. What a beautiful, haunting story. You make magic with your words, and the sound of your voice at the end, what a perfect bonus! Heartbreaking, poignant and brilliantly raw. I love this story. I'm so glad someone always finds you in Trinidad 🙌🤍 You're amazing!!
They always do and I am happy to be here Marcia
Thank you for taking the time to read :)
🤍🤍🤍
Idk what to say but nice to meet you again Neela :)
Oh my, oh my, what a powerful read. What a share. What a reflection.
(Your mother was right. They always are anyway. You don't need me to say so.)
Anyway, thank you for sharing this.
I write a bit diferently on Medium.
This was published there, a couple months back.
Just wanted to see how well it would do here.
Well …..to date - it got the highest reads.
Thank you for being one of them Damon.
Moms are always right :)
Well, I'm here for more. This is some damn inspirational writing.
Thank you - I am going to try to publish one of these pieces every two weeks.
Happy Tuesday!
Thank you Neela
And those who commented
For making me feel, and cry
These are the only words I can contribute but the feeling is deep
And beautiful
And healing
I have a small but mighty community Dean.
Thank you for now being part of it.
I wish you the best week ahead.
I can see that Neela. Wow.
I’m happy for you to have that.
Riveting. Sad. Haunting.
Brilliantly Written. Expertly Told.
You are fucking “wasting” yourself in hightech herding.
Because this shit is real.
I knowwwwwwwwww
every single day I know hahahaha
Thank you so so so much for reading David.
I know this was not an easy one.
Yes but your beautiful writing made it accessible. Plus I am a person who has firm beliefs about never turning away from reality. This essay was publishable for money great
“never turning away from reality”
we agree on this ..
well we do agree on errrr 85.4% of the things hahahaha
Thank you again…