I love how you highlight both individuals and systems. Tending both of those aspects is vital, interrelated, and mutually changing. It requires both skills and artistry, and I appreciate how you address a third component - the mentors and guides who step back to think about various responses before getting mired in concrete. I also think your lateral thinking (what can I learn about management systems from national parks?) opens our minds to wider possibilities. Thanks!
It's true, bro - the rehabber didn't just know what to do, she knew what not to do, and that second knowledge is the harder one. Most leadership development teaches intervention. Almost none of it teaches restraint or how to tell the difference in the moment.
I find national parks useful for this. Ecosystems have been running these experiments for longer than any consulting firm, and they publish their findings whether we like the results or not. Thank you for always supporting.
Ten years out and in retirement mode sounds like a very good place to be.
Would management have cared? Some would. The ones who were already asking the question. The rest were too busy protecting the org chart to notice the deer eating the forest. Which is, I suppose, its own answer.
Sad Marcelo reminded me of the butterfly struggling out of the chrysalis. If someone opens the hole too early to help, the butterfly never develops properly because the struggle itself was part of the process. That’s what makes your systems vs creatures distinction so interesting. Sometimes intervention is compassion. Sometimes restraint is.
Very thoughtful post Neela. I agree that kindness is a great place to start, and when things go south for me, I find it is often that I forgot that. Thank you for reminding me of this.
I've come to see "letting go" as an intentional choice to preserve one’s peace. Rather than moral superiority, forcing me to stay in situations that no longer serve me simply to avoid the "quitter" label,,, go ahead please and call me whatever.
In my view, true discernment lies in recognizing when a path has reached its natural conclusion. Letting go is an evolution and a necessary clearing of space for what actually aligns with our current reality. Thank you for articulating this so beautifully sister.
The quitter label is one of the more effective control mechanisms ever invented, and the people using it are always the ones who benefit most from you staying. Toxic leaders - toxic family members. Recognizing when a path has reached its natural conclusion is just honest accounting. I am also calling it discernment, and so are you. Happy Thursday, right back, sister. I appreciate you taking the time.
There are some truly great insights here about how we hide way too much behind systems while ignoring the people. Reminded me of a quote from North Dallas Forty, a very solid football movie starring Nick Nolte when, I suppose, he was sex symbol-ish. The movie was adapted from a book written by Peter Gent, a tight end who played for the Cowboys in the 60s: "Every time I call it a game, you call it a business. And everytime I call it a business, you call it a game." The book is good too.
The hypocrisy of NFL ownership of extracting maximum value from players' bodies while giving as little as possible in return goes way back.
More importantly, your story reminded me of when my Pawpan rescued a baby flying squirrel that had fallen out of the nest in the Magnolia tree in their front yard. Since it couldn't climb back up the tree, he took it inside and nursed it. It'd climb on all of us, but loved to climb up and sit on Pawpan's head. When it started launching and flying across the living room, he took it to the park around the corner and released it. It'd come say high for another year or two after.
Every time I call it a game, you call it a business, and every time I call it a business, you call it a game. I should have included this in the article, darn it. I need to read the book.
I love that the squirrel came back - They always do. Squirrels are VERY discerning.
Sad Marcelo is currently sniffing about on the floor - He probably wants his walnuts. He has not yet committed to the relationship, but he keeps showing up, which I am choosing to interpret as affection. Long live Pawpan.
Systems are helpful because people will be sloppy at some point and will be lazy so the system prevents the thinking bit. But also why systems, including the best, break.
I am glad you helped Marcello and found a great rehabber who knew their stuff and Marcello is well enough to be mooning on you!
Hope the middle of the week is arriving gently at your end xx
The systems break because people get sloppy, and the systems were built by people who got sloppy; it's turtles all the way down. Marcelo is very much mooning on me and has opinions about which windowsill gets the best afternoon light.
It has, although people are getting on my last nerve today.
This is my territory - in that I understand 100% where you are coming from. I've seen this over and over, usually people hiding behind policies to avoid treating the person in front of them as an individual. Or writing policies just to tick a box, and then doing what they like. Businesses that look to processes to fix the problem - without understanding why the problem exists in the first place. Excellent piece Neela.
The hiding behind policies to avoid treating the person as an individual is the one that gets me every time. Because the policy becomes the excuse and the excuse becomes the culture and suddenly everyone is pointing at the document instead of looking at the person. I knew you would like this one Tina.
"It asks whether you are protecting the integrity of a system or simply protecting your own comfort." - the worst kind, I've worked with - are the ones who are paralyzed and just amble along, not really knowing what's happening, and worse - not knowing what to do. Still, they will not take help.
Not knowing what is happening is bad. Not knowing what to do is worse. Refusing help while doing neither is the full trilogy. The will not take help part is what makes it a leadership problem instead of just a competence problem. I have sat across from that person more times than I would like and the conversation always ends the same way.
Hey Sis, I'm so glad Marcelo had you in his corner.. it will come as no surprise that I would have intervened also; much like I do in workplaces to neutralize toxic predators! Happy Hump Day Eve! 🙌
Of course, you would have intervened. Some of us just cannot walk past the thing that needs fixing and pretend we didn't see it. It is a gift and occasionally a curse.
Exactly, when we care, we care Sis! My week is going pretty well thanks! I've left one of my roles and currently working 3 days with the law firm which is increasing to 4 in a couple of weeks, so 3 days on...4 days off at the moment! Last Friday I did my longest bike ride in about 8 years; 100 kms! Felt amazing! I hope your week is great! Always...🤗
Only humans have made money out of prolonging misery and called it life care.
Sometimes as consultants we are fitness trainers, other times medics doing CPR and at worst we are carers in the dementia ward trying to filter out the smell with smiles.
I'm glad Sad Marcelo gets to live another day - maybe even to bring some fresh squirrels into your world.
Only humans have made money out of prolonging misery and called it life care might be the sentence of the week. Sad Marcelo would like you to know he is breathing on his own and finds the ongoing documentation of his recovery mildly undignified, but tolerates it for walnuts lol.
In The Medicine Cards, a book and non traditional tarot deck sharing the wisdom that Indigenous people ascribe to nature, our friends the squirrels are said to be about intentional and specific “gathering.” Gather only those things that add to your well-being. Which is almost antithetical to human nature. lol
I feel like the squirrels in my life are natural examples of when and where to make priorities. Which is kind of what your post is talking about. 😊
The fact that squirrels are better at intentional gathering than most leadership teams is either very funny or very damning and I can't decide which. It's probably both. There's an entire MBA curriculum hiding in that Medicine Cards entry, and it costs wayyyyy less than business school, haha - I will look for the book. Thank you so much for being here, Leo.
All of this makes me so grateful not to be working for a corporation. The companies I worked for always focused on systems, and the creatures were managed through more systems, masquerading as learning & development and human resources.
I've always been fascinated that we have examples of companies that actually care (the first one that comes to mind is Costco) - who are profitable - but are treated like a unicorn instead of being modeled.
My history teacher is a badass - she is still alive, and I wanted to be just like her when I grew up lol - None of that worked out, but I still visit her when I go to Trinidad, and she gives me shit for working in tech ...
Learning and development, performance management, engagement surveys - all of it creature-shaped packaging around systems-oriented thinking. It measures the creature. It does not tend to it. And then leadership is surprised when the engagement scores don't move.
Costco is a good example. Patagonia is another. Profitable, functional, genuinely decent to the people who work there - and treated like an anomaly rather than a proof of concept. Which tells you something about what the people running most companies actually believe, underneath the values posters.
This piece was skillfully written: the shifts, the connections, bringing it back together, the conclusion. Honestly, masterful writing and communication, done with feeling.
You know I like squirrels too so that hurt to read because we often look at predators differently than the hunted. Relieved he survived to live another day and yes, definitely cool material to write about. I hope you're doing well too.
I have had quite the last few weeks with them - specifically humans trying to hurt them. It made me sad and depressed, and I was off my game for a bit. Squirrels are the most hunted things we see out there. And still...they always find a way to bounce back. I am happy you love them too :)
I love how you highlight both individuals and systems. Tending both of those aspects is vital, interrelated, and mutually changing. It requires both skills and artistry, and I appreciate how you address a third component - the mentors and guides who step back to think about various responses before getting mired in concrete. I also think your lateral thinking (what can I learn about management systems from national parks?) opens our minds to wider possibilities. Thanks!
It's true, bro - the rehabber didn't just know what to do, she knew what not to do, and that second knowledge is the harder one. Most leadership development teaches intervention. Almost none of it teaches restraint or how to tell the difference in the moment.
I find national parks useful for this. Ecosystems have been running these experiments for longer than any consulting firm, and they publish their findings whether we like the results or not. Thank you for always supporting.
Ten years after quitting I’m finally in retirement mode. I wish your piece had been available way back then…but would management have cared enough?
Happy Tuesday Karen
Ten years out and in retirement mode sounds like a very good place to be.
Would management have cared? Some would. The ones who were already asking the question. The rest were too busy protecting the org chart to notice the deer eating the forest. Which is, I suppose, its own answer.
Thank you very much for taking the time today.
More wisdom, to meditate on. Thank you Neela! Now Tuesday is a very good Tuesday!
A good Tuesday is the whole goal. Thank you for being here Marco :)
Sad Marcelo reminded me of the butterfly struggling out of the chrysalis. If someone opens the hole too early to help, the butterfly never develops properly because the struggle itself was part of the process. That’s what makes your systems vs creatures distinction so interesting. Sometimes intervention is compassion. Sometimes restraint is.
Very thoughtful post Neela. I agree that kindness is a great place to start, and when things go south for me, I find it is often that I forgot that. Thank you for reminding me of this.
Not only you - I do that as well.
Self-awareness is good.
Thank you for reading, Andrew.
I hope you have a wonderful Thursday!
I've come to see "letting go" as an intentional choice to preserve one’s peace. Rather than moral superiority, forcing me to stay in situations that no longer serve me simply to avoid the "quitter" label,,, go ahead please and call me whatever.
In my view, true discernment lies in recognizing when a path has reached its natural conclusion. Letting go is an evolution and a necessary clearing of space for what actually aligns with our current reality. Thank you for articulating this so beautifully sister.
Happy Thursday from here.
The quitter label is one of the more effective control mechanisms ever invented, and the people using it are always the ones who benefit most from you staying. Toxic leaders - toxic family members. Recognizing when a path has reached its natural conclusion is just honest accounting. I am also calling it discernment, and so are you. Happy Thursday, right back, sister. I appreciate you taking the time.
There are some truly great insights here about how we hide way too much behind systems while ignoring the people. Reminded me of a quote from North Dallas Forty, a very solid football movie starring Nick Nolte when, I suppose, he was sex symbol-ish. The movie was adapted from a book written by Peter Gent, a tight end who played for the Cowboys in the 60s: "Every time I call it a game, you call it a business. And everytime I call it a business, you call it a game." The book is good too.
The hypocrisy of NFL ownership of extracting maximum value from players' bodies while giving as little as possible in return goes way back.
More importantly, your story reminded me of when my Pawpan rescued a baby flying squirrel that had fallen out of the nest in the Magnolia tree in their front yard. Since it couldn't climb back up the tree, he took it inside and nursed it. It'd climb on all of us, but loved to climb up and sit on Pawpan's head. When it started launching and flying across the living room, he took it to the park around the corner and released it. It'd come say high for another year or two after.
Long live Sad Marcelo!
Every time I call it a game, you call it a business, and every time I call it a business, you call it a game. I should have included this in the article, darn it. I need to read the book.
I love that the squirrel came back - They always do. Squirrels are VERY discerning.
Sad Marcelo is currently sniffing about on the floor - He probably wants his walnuts. He has not yet committed to the relationship, but he keeps showing up, which I am choosing to interpret as affection. Long live Pawpan.
Thank you for taking the time Bryant.
Yes to all of this, Neels. We've outsourced our judgment to slogans and called it strategy
PS: Sad Marcelo! I'm so invested in his recovery now
PPS: "Premium grade fuckery" where do you get these phrases, Neela 😅
Also, where do you get your memes/gifs? Gosh, love them.
oops I forgot the link to this one, but here is the website
https://tenor.com/search/just-a-little-bit-gifs
LOL
I am happy that you appreciate my language, Funke
Sad Marcelo is doing well and remains deeply unimpressed by the attention.
You can get GIFS and Memes online - I search Google using search words. I try to credit the website.
I think it adds to the essay, but who even knows lol
Thank you for being here Funke
This piece is a class act in writing, sis!
Systems are helpful because people will be sloppy at some point and will be lazy so the system prevents the thinking bit. But also why systems, including the best, break.
I am glad you helped Marcello and found a great rehabber who knew their stuff and Marcello is well enough to be mooning on you!
Hope the middle of the week is arriving gently at your end xx
The systems break because people get sloppy, and the systems were built by people who got sloppy; it's turtles all the way down. Marcelo is very much mooning on me and has opinions about which windowsill gets the best afternoon light.
It has, although people are getting on my last nerve today.
What the..
Enjoy the rest of your week sis.
Thank you for the coffee and for being here.
Always a pleasure, sis!
Escape near where Marcelo is! He’s far more deserving of your attention than most humans 😃❤️
That’s what I did hahahaha
They save my life daily
Thank you sis
This is my territory - in that I understand 100% where you are coming from. I've seen this over and over, usually people hiding behind policies to avoid treating the person in front of them as an individual. Or writing policies just to tick a box, and then doing what they like. Businesses that look to processes to fix the problem - without understanding why the problem exists in the first place. Excellent piece Neela.
The hiding behind policies to avoid treating the person as an individual is the one that gets me every time. Because the policy becomes the excuse and the excuse becomes the culture and suddenly everyone is pointing at the document instead of looking at the person. I knew you would like this one Tina.
Thank you so much for chiming in.
So easy to blame 'the system'. Do what's right, not what's easy!
Have a great weekend, Neela
thank you and same to you too Tina
"It asks whether you are protecting the integrity of a system or simply protecting your own comfort." - the worst kind, I've worked with - are the ones who are paralyzed and just amble along, not really knowing what's happening, and worse - not knowing what to do. Still, they will not take help.
Not knowing what is happening is bad. Not knowing what to do is worse. Refusing help while doing neither is the full trilogy. The will not take help part is what makes it a leadership problem instead of just a competence problem. I have sat across from that person more times than I would like and the conversation always ends the same way.
Thank you for being here bro...
Hey Sis, I'm so glad Marcelo had you in his corner.. it will come as no surprise that I would have intervened also; much like I do in workplaces to neutralize toxic predators! Happy Hump Day Eve! 🙌
Happy Thursday bro
Of course, you would have intervened. Some of us just cannot walk past the thing that needs fixing and pretend we didn't see it. It is a gift and occasionally a curse.
How is your week going?
Thank you for taking the time, bro.
Exactly, when we care, we care Sis! My week is going pretty well thanks! I've left one of my roles and currently working 3 days with the law firm which is increasing to 4 in a couple of weeks, so 3 days on...4 days off at the moment! Last Friday I did my longest bike ride in about 8 years; 100 kms! Felt amazing! I hope your week is great! Always...🤗
Well, a huge project that was currently on pause got unpaused today, which is great news for my bank account lol
Look at you go. I know how much you love bike riding, bro.
Let's have an encore.
Have the best weekend ahead. 🤗
Only humans have made money out of prolonging misery and called it life care.
Sometimes as consultants we are fitness trainers, other times medics doing CPR and at worst we are carers in the dementia ward trying to filter out the smell with smiles.
I'm glad Sad Marcelo gets to live another day - maybe even to bring some fresh squirrels into your world.
Here's to clients that can breathe on their own
Happy Wednesday Neela 🐿️
Happy Thursday David
Only humans have made money out of prolonging misery and called it life care might be the sentence of the week. Sad Marcelo would like you to know he is breathing on his own and finds the ongoing documentation of his recovery mildly undignified, but tolerates it for walnuts lol.
Thank you for being here, David :)
In The Medicine Cards, a book and non traditional tarot deck sharing the wisdom that Indigenous people ascribe to nature, our friends the squirrels are said to be about intentional and specific “gathering.” Gather only those things that add to your well-being. Which is almost antithetical to human nature. lol
I feel like the squirrels in my life are natural examples of when and where to make priorities. Which is kind of what your post is talking about. 😊
The fact that squirrels are better at intentional gathering than most leadership teams is either very funny or very damning and I can't decide which. It's probably both. There's an entire MBA curriculum hiding in that Medicine Cards entry, and it costs wayyyyy less than business school, haha - I will look for the book. Thank you so much for being here, Leo.
Happy Tuesday, Neela!
thank you Leo :)
I LOVE YOUR STORIES!!!
(You would have been a great history teacher 😉 )
All of this makes me so grateful not to be working for a corporation. The companies I worked for always focused on systems, and the creatures were managed through more systems, masquerading as learning & development and human resources.
I've always been fascinated that we have examples of companies that actually care (the first one that comes to mind is Costco) - who are profitable - but are treated like a unicorn instead of being modeled.
And we're all glad you saved Sad Marcelo. 🐿️
Happy Tuesday Kim
My history teacher is a badass - she is still alive, and I wanted to be just like her when I grew up lol - None of that worked out, but I still visit her when I go to Trinidad, and she gives me shit for working in tech ...
Learning and development, performance management, engagement surveys - all of it creature-shaped packaging around systems-oriented thinking. It measures the creature. It does not tend to it. And then leadership is surprised when the engagement scores don't move.
Costco is a good example. Patagonia is another. Profitable, functional, genuinely decent to the people who work there - and treated like an anomaly rather than a proof of concept. Which tells you something about what the people running most companies actually believe, underneath the values posters.
Sad Marcelo sends his gratitude.
Thank you for being here, Kim.
A gut punch to hear what happened to Marcelo.
This piece was skillfully written: the shifts, the connections, bringing it back together, the conclusion. Honestly, masterful writing and communication, done with feeling.
Happy Tuesday Michael
Thank you so much.
Marcelo did most of the work. He just had the audacity to survive, and gave me cool material to write :)
I hope you are doing well.
Thank you for being here.
You know I like squirrels too so that hurt to read because we often look at predators differently than the hunted. Relieved he survived to live another day and yes, definitely cool material to write about. I hope you're doing well too.
I have had quite the last few weeks with them - specifically humans trying to hurt them. It made me sad and depressed, and I was off my game for a bit. Squirrels are the most hunted things we see out there. And still...they always find a way to bounce back. I am happy you love them too :)
You have a sensitive heart for the vulnerable. I will tell you my own wildlife story sometime.
looking forward to hearing them…